to serve the ad needs of the VTTW very well.  I forwarded these modifications to the survey company so they can better survey ya'll. 

SURVEY - VTTW modified

SEX: (1) Male   (2) Female  (3) livestock ( 4) Family only

AGE:  (1)  Seven years  or under   (2) Marryin' age

PLEASE SELECT YO' HIGHEST LEVEL OF EDICASHUN:  (1) Elementary school (2) Taxidermy School (3) UT  (4) Post-UT Taxidermy School

OCCUPATION: (1) Starving dentist (2) Taxidermist (3) Moonshine proprietor (4)  Piggly Wiggly manager (5) Trailer Park Sanitation Engineer (6) re'tard, as in old and not working

ANNUAL HOUSEHOLD INCOME: (1) 1-10 possums  (2) 10-20 possums  (3) more than possums than you have fingers and toes

MARITAL STATUS:  (1) To cousin  (2) To brother/sister  (3) To father/mother  (4) to grandpappy/grandmaw (5) not good enough fo' family

DO YOU OWN YOUR OWN TRAILER (1) Yes (2) No

ON AVERAGE, HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU BRUSH YOUR TOOTH EVERY YEAR?  (1)  (2)  (3) (4) (More than 4, non-native)

HOW MANY VEHICLES DO YOU PLAN TO LIVE IN, IN THE NEXT TWELVE MONTHS?  (1) (2) (3+)

INVESTMENTS OWNED  (1) UT Football tickets  (2) Corn-squeezin' futures (3) Krispy Kreme near Phil's house (4) Trailer park time-shares

I PLAN TO PURCHASE THE FOLLOWING OVER THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: (1) Coonskin cap  (2) mule (3) Overalls (3) Banjo  (4) Toothbrush - yeah, right!  (5) Elvis velvets (6) more pigs