The countdown continues, even as it's losing steam. Pics below narrative. September 18, 1971 In 1976 the NFL played its first Asian game, in Tokyo. This was done after a careful study of the ill-informed but spendthrift Chinese football market, and because lots of guys in America claim to like "Asian," whatever they mean by that. The (St.Louis) Cardinals beat the Chargers 20-10. But few people know that the NCAA was the first to export American football to the Orient, and guess who played? It was 1971, and Philip Fulmer was a senior on the field (somewhere less than a freshman in the classroom, and a tiger in the buffet line). Upon hearing about UT’s trip, Fulmer declared that he couldn’t wait to get over there and "pay back those Chinese bastards for Pearl Harbor." Coach Bill Battle had to inform him that it was, in fact, the Norwegians who bombed Pearl Harbor. After the 20-hour plane ride to Shanghai, during which a youthful and mischievous Fulmer put nearly every sleeping teammate's hand in a bowl of warm water, giggling like a school girl, the team arrived exhausted – and soaking wet from the belt down. Fulmer’s first quoted statement when stepping onto Chinese soil was "Where’s the buffet? I mean, this is like the holy grail of buffets, right?" In those days, Chinese buffets were only "TWO DARRA!!! TWO DARRA!!! YOU PAY NOW FAT AMERICAN!!!" Although surprised to realize that authentic Chinese buffet food is actually prepared in a way that allows eaters to see what their food looked like when it was still alive, this was no deterrent to Phil, who was used to eating things that still had their skin, hair or scales. But he did comment on the conspicuous absence of Sweet and Sour Pork, egg roles without eggs, and who the h#ll was General Tso anyway? After eating 3 places into bankruptcy ("YOU RUIN ME! YOU SHAME MY FAMILY! THAT’S 300 DARRA!!!") PF made his way back to the hotel. In abject neglect of the Chinese notion of Feng Shui, which states that furniture should be placed in a manner that creates harmony between human and his environment, PF dropped his luggage and immediately started in on a fort. Forts are much more challenging with futons rather than couches, and construction methods in the early 70’s were mediocre at best. But PF made his fort all grand-like, calling it the Taj Mahal, because, after all, "we’re in Thailand, right?" The game was about as exciting as the NFL games played in Tokyo. However, the gawking Chinese crowd, many of whom had never seen a white person (except on "Meet Your Inferiors," a state-run television program), sat on the edge of their seats and politely clapped for EVERYTHING that happened, without distinction for who did what, and what they did. Two muffed punts netted polite applause, as did a timeout and a failed 4th-and-3. The only people who appeared to have a remote cheering interest were the parents of Math and Physics graduate students at UF and UT, although even they had to be told who was who. There was very little offense, and the game was continuously interrupted as players from both sides made frequent mad dashes for the bathroom (to the polite applause of the Chinese crowd). Coach Battle swore that Grand Garden Lucky Happiness Golden Dragon 24-Hour Buffet, Hotel and Buffet would not be on the itinerary the next time. PF injured himself early in the 2nd quarter (while running to the bathroom), and spent the rest of the evening on the sideline (which, again netted polite applause). He was seen building a small fort between the Gatorade and the kicking practice net, but had a hard time fitting inside. The crowd politely applauded. Florida won the game 10-6, and Bill Battle joined the crowd in applauding. The evening started at Grand Dynasty buffet, and ended with karaoke. Phil reveled in both, and even built a little fort at the karaoke bar. There was polite applause. (Ok, not my best effort, but YOU come up with multiple scenarios. Now I know how sitcom writers feel. I'm out of town tomorrow - someone take this over for me.) Fulmer has hair, Neyland has no upper deck, and UT still didn't have color photography. Don't be fooled - PF busted a blood vessel holding in his gut. Don't they have chicken wings in China? What kind of commie outpost is this? View from the Grand Garden Lucky Happiness Golden Dragon 24-Hour Buffet, Hotel and Buffet. There's gotta be another buffet down there. Chinese fans clapping politely for an ineligible receiver downfield penalty. PF was shocked and excited about all the genuine Rolexes available on the streets of Shanghai for rock-bottom prices. He boasted all the way home about his powers of negotiation.