TK Wetherell (FSU President): Gentlemen, Jeff, I appreciate you all coming to this meeting. This is very pressing business and I hope we can all be professionals.

Dave Hart (FSU Athletic Director): Thank you, President Wetherell. I'd like to get straight to business if I may. Jeff*

Bobby (Bowden): Now hold on there, anything you have to say to Jeff you can run through me.

Hart: Appreciated, Coach, but this directly concerns him, and given the nature of the arrangement by which we skirted the nepotism rules to hire your son, I must speak directly with him.

Bobby: Well, you're lucky I like coaching here.

Hart: Jeff*

Jeff: Call me 'Coach Bowden', ***damnit.

Hart: Well, let's discuss that. Calling you coach would be to assume that you have an ongoing position on the coaching staff. In light of evaluations we've conducted since your transition to the position of offensive coordinator, we've arrived at the conclusion that the results have fallen drastically short of expectations. In our estimation, lack of attention to duty and neglect of occupational obligations have contributed to these shortcomings. We've also noted problems in interpersonal relationships between you and other members of the staff, a lack of identity in the function of the offense, missing cohesion in game-planning and play-calling, and an apparent lack of faith among player personnel in the overall offensive philosophy. Given these factors, we feel it is necessary at this point to negotiate a mutual agreement on terminating your current position with the team.

Jeff: Huh?

Andy Miller (Seminole Boosters President): We think you suck and we want you to leave.

Jeff: Oh. Well, so what? I don't wanna go.

Hart: What we're trying to say is that given the current situation and the trend we've experienced in results, we are beyond consideration of personal feelings and think it is time to take immediate action, lest we be negligent in our obligations to the program.

Jeff: Huh?

Andy: You've sorried up the program to the point we don't care to paddycake your sorry ass just because your last name is Bowden.

Bobby: Hey*

Andy: Due respect, Coach.

Bobby: Mmm* just be glad I like my job.

Jeff: Well, I don't have to. This here's my mouthpiece.

Steve Bowden: Gentlemen, I'm here to represent Jeff's interest.

TK: Weren't you disbarred when you were convicted of screwing over you father in a pyramid scheme?

Steve: While my status as a purveyor of legal representation may be in a gray area, I represent his financial interest.

Andy: What are you talkin' about, squirrelly?

Steve: It means we're guessing there are people associated with the program who may be willing to make certain concessions mutually beneficial to all parties.

Jeff: Huh?

Andy: He wants us to pony up to make you leave.

Jeff: How much we talkin'?

Bobby: Hold on, there, Jeff. You gotta stay the course*

Jeff: No, seriously, how much?

Steve: Well, of course we expect Jeff to be compensated for the remainder of his contract, legally binding through August 2007. However, we are aware that certain donors with clout as great as their considerable wherewithal would be willing to extend compensation beyond the terms of the contract.

Jeff: Huh?

Andy: He wants us to pay you to do jack squat.

Jeff: Would you?

Andy: We have for the past six years.

Hart: I'm not really comfortable setting a precedent of compensation beyond terms of agreement, especially in situation involving gross incompetence and violations of nepotism policy.

Jeff: Huh?

Andy: We're not big on paying morons any more than we legally have to just because your dad's the coach.

Bobby: You're lucky I like being the coach.

TK: Yes, Coach, we're aware.

Jeff: But we gotcha by the short and curlies, right?

Hart: It appears we are in a position to negotiate.

Jeff: Well, how 'bout I get free beer*

Steve: What about this: continue his current salary over the next ten years and give him an honorary title in the athletic department.

Andy: Go ---- yourself.

Steve: Mr. Hart?

Hart: Seriously, go ---- yourself.

Steve: Alright, consider this: keep him on as offensive consultant at $125K over the next seven years.

Andy: Consider this: go piss up a wet rope.

Steve: Mr. Hart?

Hart: I think you know my policy.

Steve: Well, we're not prepared to just walk away. You're looking at, what? Six-and-six this season? Want to shoot for three-and-eight next year? Get back to where daddy found the team?

Andy: We're willing to pay his contract this season and go $100K a year for three years.

Steve: This year's contract and $110K a year for six years.

Andy: This year and $107,500 a year for four years.

Steve: Done.

Jeff: What's that mean?

Steve: A lot of donut money and plenty of time to eat 'em.

Jeff: Woohoo!

(the above could be from Warchant.  not sure who wrote it.  I got it in an email from some a Nole friend that reads Warchant)