* - see note below DOT: MY name is Gene and I represent Whorechumps, a demented website dedicated to slamming the Gators and everything about their athletes, teams, and coaching staffs in as many ways as possible, using lies and falsehoods wherever possible to prove fsu is a much better school. Today we have 3 victims of that dastardly Ron Zook's cowardly and illegal recruiting tactics. Earn Sims, Ant Cromartie, and Ande Fluellen. Say hi gentlemen (mumbled noises off mike resembling an elephant expectorating) DOT: Now we all know you poor guys have been exposed to the evel schemes of the vile one, Coach Zook of the Gators (Offstage hiss). Earn, you said on National signing day that Zook had lied to you repeatedly and that is why you switched to the Sainted one (Heavnmely string music in the background) Bobby Bowden and his noble Nole team. Would you care to expound on what happened? ES: Uh Gene that didn't happen. I never said Coach Zook lied. DOT: Uh yes, we all know you, as a Nole are far too classy to demean someone in public but would you say Zook lied about anything to you? ES: Uh, no. DOT: But he did exaggerate, right? ES: Well, maybe, he did say I might have the chance to play right away.. DOT: THERE WE HAVE IT! Proof that The ZOOK lies to every recruit! Telling this young man that he would start right away! ES: Uh, Gene he didn't say that... DOT: Thank you Earn. Now let's move on to Ant Cromartie, the best Cornerback ever signed by any team, who will truly make us a dominant defense again. Now Ant isn't it true that the ZOOK said you would start right away at cornerback? AC: Uh no Gene, he said I would play safety and would be given the chance to compete for playtime right away. DOT: Start right away? What a blatant lie! AC: Uh Gene,. that's not what I said... DOT: That's fine Ant. Now what about Zook bothered you most? AC: The guy was relentless. He called me all the time and even had my cousin call me on signing day. I prefer it lowkey, just a difference in styles so I signed with fsu where the approach was lower key. DOT: He stalked you! My God has the man no shame? Relentless pressure, he must have had you to the point where you were scared to go anywhere by yourself! AC: Uh no Gene it wasn't like that.... DOT: Fine Amp, now let's talk with Ande about his horrible experience with the ZOOK. Ande, what kind of evil was perpetrated on you by that vile scum? AF: Well , Zook did say stuff I thought was negative recruiting, saying FSU might be put on probation and that I might be going to FSU for all the wrong reasons. And he dropped my offer, the lousy SOB, how dare he? DOT: SO he slammed fsu repeatedly to you and made it sound like the NCAA was giving us the death Penalty? AF: Uh no Gene he just said minor probation if certain things turned out to be true... DOT: Thanks Ande. That Lying Bastage! ZOOK knows no shame, he spreads lies about fsu receiving the Death Penalty like I spread my legs for Seminole Mik...Uh I mean he really is a big fat fibber! Now we have a special treat in store. Al Boston has agreed to tell us how ZOOK lied to him. Al tell us your tragic tale. AB: Well Zook never lied but Coach Dixon called to cancel my 1/24 visit and wanted to push it back a week. Coach Dixon blamed it on my being academically ineligible. I respect UF, but not Coach Dixon, the liar. I can't be ineligible, I play football! DOT. OH the shame, ZOOK instructed Dixon to tell lies to you so he could tell other innocent recruits lies about starting next year. We all know UF will admit anyone, they would never turn anyone down for grades. Forget that stuff with Santonio Thomas and others, they were all lies to make it appear it is harder to get in UF than fsu, which we know is the Harvard of the south! There we have it folks. Proof positive that UF is spreading lies everywhere about our sainted institution! Now remember buy the premium subscription from now on because all the free boards are going away. Till next time, this is Dot signing off. Go Noles! (music rises, Seminole Warchant, in the background we hear Gene muttering.... Mikey, they can't expect me to do this for free, my phone bill is enormous from calling all these recruits illegally and trying to recruit them for fsu using my website as a cover. ) Fade to silence..... * - The above is a comedic lampoon of public figures and is not reality. Reality in this case is much less believable....