our latest incident, I think we have proven, really, that I have proven, that my special brand of hillbilly justice is swift and severe. 

Unless, of course, you are a five star recruit who can start as a true freshman, assuming that said five star recruit has enough creativity to quickly fashion a bull#badword# story just barely plausible enough to give me, i mean, us the slightest justification for not drop kicking his ass out of here too. 

Huh, what's that?  He was arrested for, what?  Shoplifting?  Well who the #badword# cares about shoplifting?  Why am I even talking about this?  Shoplifting!  That's hysterical!  I can't tell you how little I care whether my players shop---- 

(muffled tones, inaudible, a few taps on the microphone)

Goddammit, will somebody tell Mike Hamilton to quit turning off my microphone! 

DADDY!!!!!