ass to so many here as often as I am.  I simply can't explain it.  I'm looking thru 50 Mudmails from almost everyone who posts regularly on this board.  They come at different times in the year and with different thoughts for me.  From encouragement from our board leader to sorrow as my dad was dieing to condolences.  A person who would be willing to tweek my icon forever to another who finds my opinions to be very close to his.  Friends that I don't talk to often, friends from here that have moved,  people from here reminding me I can be a complete jerk-off (and I agree). 

Women and men who have helped me again and again in bad times.  People that can still love me despite all my bullsh*t.  I actually cried tonight looking at all of what people here have posted in my MM this year.  I wish I could post it all. So much wonderful stuff from so many people.  And I am willing to burn it all it various moments of hate.  I can never really explain it to my friends here...I'm so sorry what I do to hurt you with posts...I look at what you do for me over a year in private and I just cry at how much you show love to me and I find a way to forget it a week later.  I'm sorry.

I do love you all.  This is an incredible board and I abuse it often.  And yet I've got 50 Mudmails from 50 of you proving you guys are really incredible.  There really is no other board that has kind of life subtleties.  You either suck or you don't on every other board of any type on earth.  To have people that actually give a sh*t in a way that isn't silly on the internet is amazing.  I may get banned from this board one day for being totally stupid, but I won't ever be able to deny these people are extremely close.  And true. 

Happy New Year to all of you.  Thanks for the 12 years...er...13...14 years you've been a part of me.  Please put up with me a little while longer.  I'm not saying I won't still be an ass, but I hope you know I recognize the goodness each of you has every now and then.  Thank you Mud for keeping this board together for all these years.  I've met so many people because of your ideal.  And I hope to spend another decade doing the same thing.