|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
gatorpower
(70.164.72.27) on 6/9/2010 - 4:51 p.m. says: ( 229 views
, 1 likes
)
|
"I start by placing a small BAND-AID® over the length of my penis and testicles" |
|
CONTEXT ADDED BY ADMIN: END OF CONTEXT Now, personally, my own genitalia measures a hearty 3¾ centimeters from the base of my taint to the tip of my penis. I would imagine that even the most endowed individual would only go about 15% - 20% larger than this. Please. Spare me your “war stories” women. Penises larger than mine only exist in the world of pornography where unscrupulous companies take advantage of CGI and other camera tricks. This means, unless you're a real freak cough::liar::cough, all men can safety tuck the entirety of their penis package inside a rounded, 1-inch BAND-AID®, which is available at an economic price at Walgreens (check for coupons though!). They're located in the first-aid section, btw. I think 1½ inches is also available for those of you who are too damn insecure to carry around what you know is sufficient, but maybe not ‘cool’ enough to be seen by the other patrons of Walgreens, K-mart..etc. Condom companies make millions off you idiots every day! Anyway, place the BAND-AID® over your gentile area as demonstrated in figure 1, below.  Figure 1. Proper Placement. This is for your own safety. I almost nicked off my penis when I was drunk on peach schnapps in high school. What you are going to want to do after this is spread mayonnaise over your entire groin area and spend the rest of the evening watching [H]OUSE reruns and eating hot dogs. Resist this impulse! Instead, use a heavy comb and raise the level of your bush by bunching up the hearty stalks into a rowed crop. Then verbally accost them for 10-15 minutes and please, try to avoid getting an erection. Once or twice is OK, but it really interferes with the adhesive of the BAND-AID®. Thankfully, they make them pretty strong. I am not really sure what to do after the last step though as I pass out from exhaustion. Either way, when I wake up, I'm pink and swollen and the hairs have all fallen out on their own. Hope that helps.helps. |
--
|
I start by placing a small BAND-AID® over the length of my penis and testicles gatorpower 6/9/2010 - 4:51 p.m.
|
|
|
|
This site is independently owned and operated and is not affiliated in any official capacity with the University of Florida. |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
