I’m posting this on the main board for the benefit of lurkers, especially those who might need a positive message from someone who has been there.

I’m wearing purple today because my heart breaks over the recent attention paid to gay teen suicide and because as an adult I want to do what I can to stop bullying of all kinds.

If you are being bullied, or if you are in a tough spot, or if you feel backed in to a corner and think that ending your life is the only solution: STOP. I’m here to tell you that it gets better.

Being a teen is hard. It’s harder if you’re different. I know. I was a nerd. I was clumsy, had poor social skills, and just loved playing in the band. On top of all of that, I realized that I was gay when I was 15. I was horrified and confused. I had a boyfriend who I adored. Though I was a nerd, I had lots of friends, and I feared that they would abandon me if they knew my secret.

One day in high school I saw that someone had written “DYKE” by my name on a classroom chart. I was devastated and afraid. Over the next few years, I was so worried about my future that I felt backed into a corner. It didn’t help that I was later in the Navy and terrified of being found out or turned in. I briefly considered ending it all. Instead, I stubbornly pushed through, sometimes a day at a time, in hopes that things would get better.

My life is not perfect, but it’s better than it ever has been. I’m happy in my career, surrounded by people who love me and care about me, and am married to the love of my life. I’m still a nerd, but I’m okay with it. It really does get better. Be around to see it.