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gatorpower
(65.5.200.181) on 11/14/2010 - 12:41 p.m. says: ( 303 views
, 4 likes
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"I'm sorry." |
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CONTEXT ADDED BY ADMIN: END OF CONTEXT I feel like Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg in Operation Valkyrie. I snuck down to section 8, in my blue camo; biceps twitching; palms sweating. I had my binocs out. That's right. The two HD jumbo screens are simply not enough. I need to shame the ‘tourists’, the mom & pop fans who don't know football, with my chubby-hardening preparedness. I also turned my radio down two notches, but not all the way off. I came down to blend in and, of course, to help our offense by committing a felony. Hey, it doesn't stop our other players from being on the sidelines. I could sense the urgency of the situation. It was the middle of the 3rd quarter and the predictable 4th-down stop, caused by running a 240 lbs QB at a mass of motionless bodies, had just happened. I could hear the boo-birds. My target, the evil Führer of our offense, a bald man named Daz was quietly grazing the field like a fattened lamb. He was easy to recognize because he was the most incompetent-looking #badword# there. Also, he had a name-tag, “Hello: My name is.. Abdazio” (written in crayon, deliberately inverting the first 'd' to look like the Little Rascals clubhouse). The closer I crept, the louder the roar of the crowd. It was as if they were applauding my intentions, encouraging me on from afar. I nonetheless chose not to adopt these cheers as an extension of my psyche; a catalyst for my dirty little project. This was going to be me. I wanted to own it. I made it to the concrete, my friends. I had my fingers on the orange paint right in front of the players bench. I could smell their musk and I could sense their disappointment. My shoes were wading through their tears. It could have also been spilled Gatorade. One of the ushers looked at me. In cold confidence, I looked back. It was almost like I was saying, “Go Gators”, but in a way I had never expressed before. That's when Heinrich Himmler, dressed a middle-aged woman in a felt hat with a puffy jacket, pointed a gun at me. She barked, “You Americans are so cocky.” She used code though, so it sounded more like, “You can't stand in the aisle and lean up against the wall.” I smiled, trying to disarm her with my natural good looks and easy-going charm. “Abort! Abort!” I heard in my radio. “Copy” Somehow, someone had told her. One of you. My cover had become blown; stabbed by my friends on the VS, you vicious devil dogs. Anyway, my thoughts on the game. 1) The offensive staff has proven over the past two seasons, beyond suspicion and speculation, that they are stubborn, arrogant and, most importantly, helpless, flaccid and impotent. We took a team, last year, capable of scoring 45+ points a game with the greatest player of all-time, a perfect fit for the spread offense, Tim Tebow, and, not counting defensive or special teams scoring, averaged a paltry 23.67 points during SEC play.... all while getting Tim's face smashed in. We were ranked 93rd in the country in redzone offense and 69th in surrendering sacks. This year, we are 116th in redzone offense and 65th in surrendering sacks. We are also 70th in rushing offense, 76th in passing offense, 84th in total offense and 50th in scoring offense. 2) The break-two-tackle offense was reinstated for this game, with the minor inconvenience of not even getting the ball out of the quarterbacks hand in time for our playmakers to be given the opportunity to break two tackles. We run a gimmick. Of our first 9 plays of the game, over the course of 3 separate drives, 7 involved Chris Rainey. You think we wanted to get it into his hands? This must have been a reward for blocking two kicks last week or for being Meyer's 'adopted' son, but it makes no sense to not distribute the ball to the rest of our playmakers, opting to put all our eggs in one basket. A basket, I might add, hasn't proven a whole lot in the past three years and I would consider a non-premier, slot-WR, good change of pace guy, at best. The result of this brilliant game-planning: 7 plays for Chris, 18 yards, (2.5 yard average). Imagine if we had used our momentum to zing the ball around the field instead or maybe used Reed or Burton. Instead, we come out with an entirely predictable game plan using only one player. Where have I heard that one before? The truth is, our preparation sucks, our execution sucks and our game-calling sucks. 3) I think it's about time that Jeremy Foley had a talk with Urban Meyer about the current direction of our program. I think Meyer was a great coach before he started delegating responsibilities and taking a step-back for his health. I strongly believe that setting your personal priorities, health and family goals above your career is highly admirable. Having said that, there seem to be a lot coaches around the country who have no problems balancing both. This is compounded by the fact that he is delegating jobs to assistants that have no business coaching in the SEC. Perhaps if Coach Meyer was receiving better counsel from his staff, he would be better at handing off responsibilities. 4) I feel sorry for John Brantley... in the same way I feel sorry for a baby deer wobbling into open country on its baby deer legs during a hunting season where the closest liquor store is having a 5-for-1 sale on vodka, tequila, rum and all the other booze in the store and bullets and guns are free. In other words, I don't feel sorry for him at all. He's a baby deer and I'm an opportunistic hick. Who would catch a pass for negative twelve yards? If that isn't smashing-beer-bottles-on-your-forehead stupid, if that isn't unprotected-sex-with-a-Haitian-prostitute stupid, then I just do not know what is stupid anymore. Let me get this out of the way. The high school offense we run is not ruining a quarterback with Joe Montana skills. The high school offense we run is befuddling a quarterback who can not grasp a high school offense. He is not some true freshmen waiting for the game to slow down for him. He has been studying this offense for four years, as an understudy to the greatest college QB ever. He is a redshirt junior for crying out loud. If he still can not make a pass longer than 7 yards on a 3rd-down and 7; if he throws a 1 yard pass instead, he is unsalvageable as a football player. Period. How many times do you have to scream at a player to, “throw past the sticks”, before you realize that he just does not #badword#ing get it. 5) Of course, I blame the coaching staff too. Actually witnessing how shallow the routes our receivers run befuddles me. Seeing them all turn around without making the safeties so-much as back-peddle, befuddles me.. Actually witnessing how bad a gameplan is, to work towards South Carolina's strengths and ignore their weaknesses, befuddles me. The arrogance to take the failed game plans from Mississippi State and LSU, two games we lost, and push them up the butts of our players in a “let's #badword# over the fans” enema, instead of using what worked with Georgia and Vanderbilt, befuddles me. 6) Florida has not beaten a team ranked in the top-25 this year. Our signature win is against a 5-6 Georgia team, in overtime. Even the 2004 team that got Ron Z00k fired beat 15th-ranked Florida State. I can not remember the last time we had zero qualities wins. 7) Has Carlos Dunlap gotten cut from the Cincinnati Bengals yet? I sure hope it is soon. Four tackles on the year so far for them. Haha. Better start posturing for the unemployment line. I hope he works at a gas station for the next 30 years of his life. Not only did he get himself suspended before the SEC Championship game last year, he took the money and ran from an opportunity that would have helped both himself and the Gators immensely. We have no pass rush. Duke Lemmens and Justin Trattou are liabilities against 1) the pass, and 2) the rush. Trattou had about 10 mistackles against Marcus Lattimore and Lemmens pushed him into the endzone for his last touchdown. They play like walk-ons, no offense. Alabama ran off the edge against them to destroy our defense and Stephen Garcia will probably buy them diner tonight for being so cordial and quiet during the entire game. I do not know how we have scouted so badly at the defensive end position to get to this state of affairs. 8) Despite what others have said amongst their friends, the talent on our defense is not bad outside of the end position. We are pretty young and fast, but poorly coached. The coaches like to blame Will Hill, but our entire secondary and linebackers are starting to look lost outside of A Black when it comes to covering anyone who can legally catch the ball. We had dozens of mental errors. At this point in the season, that comes from bad coaching. 9) In fact, I was amazed we were down only a touchdown at halftime. If we had taken the early momentum and added a couple touchdowns, USCe would have been passing in the second half instead of using Lattimore. That would have worked into our strength. This is one of the reasons I am absolutely angry for having not completed my project at the game. Had I taken Addazio out of the game, perhaps some random elderly fan could have called the game and we would get 1-2 more touchdowns by accident. |
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-- Starred by: JimG8R BabySister Joe6pak MackUF1 -- 
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I'm sorry. gatorpower 11/14/2010 - 12:41 p.m.
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