I love my university, but I will not support its athletic teams as long as Mike Hamilton is AD. I indict him on the following counts:

• The Kiffin disaster, which needs no more description here

• The Pearl disaster, no further description needed

• The murder of a competitive baseball program, which is now 2-10 in the SEC following consecutive sweeps, all under the supervision of a coach as full of $hit as he is excuses: “we just need that one hit.”

• The sabotaging of 2 teams in the middle of the season (under Fulmer and Pearl) by effectively announcing the firings so that he would look better once the teams underperform

• Continuing to hire unproven noobs on the cheap while lining the athletic department’s coffers with proceeds from luxury boxes (and shutting out common fans with exorbitant ticket prices)

• Being a toothless South Carolina hillbilly

 I will not support UT sports until he is gone.

Which leads me to an interesting dilemma, since I still love sports. Who do I cheer for? A comparative analysis will help me decide.

School	Pros	Cons
Kentucky	Lord your basketball record over your rivals	Bat$hit crazy fans
South Carolina	Isle of Palms	Columbia
Vanderbilt	Good seats still available	Despite their chant, they really DON’T end up reading your resume
Georgia	Never have to lose to the Gators at home	Always have to lost to the Gators in Jacksonville
Florida	Best chance at holding down the rest of the hick conference	Still too far North to be free of said hickism
Alabama	They’d sell out a spring game in Mongolia	See “Kentucky”
Auburn	Aubie	Wayne
Mississippi State	Nobody hates them except Ole Miss and who cares what they think?	No William Faulkner
Ole Miss	William Faulkner	Easily ridiculed name and mascot(s)
LSU	Fans party better than YOU'RE sorry @$$, no matter what school you’re from	Have you BEEN to Louisiana? Partying is all they got
Arkansas	Closer to Oklahoma, where the real football is played	The Greeters at Bud Walton Arena
NON SEC
Florida State	Nice weather	Fake stadium; ACC
Clemson	Like Auburn	But without Aubie; ACC
Ohio State	Annual preseason Champs	Annual postseason gimps
Michigan	Big stadium	Bad economy
Michigan State	Smokestack behind stadium reminds you you’re in the muscle belt	Smokestack behind stadium reminds you you’re in the rust belt
Illionois	Already own orange	Don’t own a tractor
Wisconsin	Good for 1 upset a year	And only 1
Minnesota	Hot Scandie ancestry	Hot Scandie ancestry on an American diet
Iowa	Kick@$$ subsidies	Everything’s made of corn
Nebraska	You get to brag about all-time series records	You can’t brag about the last 10 years
Colorado	Tried it already	With bad results
Oklahoma	Switzer still roams the sidelines	So does Stoops
Baylor	You go to heaven	Christians can’t play sports well
Texas	Austin	Texas
TAMU	Relevant	In their own minds
Arizona State	Nice weather	At night
Berkeley	Discuss Foucault at halftime	You’re down 34-0 at halftime

In the end, I have chosen Florida, mainly because I’m familiar with the posting format on the VS.

And because a good Florida = a bad UT, and a bad UT might eventually = no Mike Hamilton.

So Go Gators!