Football, Arkansas Razorback On Sept. 29th, Arkansas Razorback Football, beloved sport, reason for tailgating, reason for drinking passed away. It will be remembered for its gentle spirit, rugged hitting, and positive influence  on Arkansas fans. Her life was long and filled with many accomplishments. Her work ethic was formed at an early age and continued for the next 118 years. Her thirst for perfection and execution was a driving force. The first Arkansas football team was formed in 1894 and coached by John Futrall, who was a Latin professor at the University. That team played three games: two against Fort Smith High School and one against Texas, no doubtedly losing to both as would be expected. Before the 1909 season, the teams was called the Arkansas cardinals and a bird was the school's mascot. The name and mascot changed following the 1909 season when the football team, coached by Hugo Bezdek. There are differing stories about the origins of 'Razorbacks', however. During this season Bezdek proclaimed his team played "like a wild band of razorback hogs" and the phrase was so popular that the Cardinals changed their name for the 1910season. The next 40 years were uneventful as the Arkansas Raorbacks played a lot of games, and well lost more than they won, except when they played their new rivel- Ole Miss but there should be an * next to those scores because, well it was Ole Miss after all. 

Frank Broyles was hired as head football coach in 1957 which also saw the birth of Top Cat, though that has little to do with Arkansas Football and well truth be told, nothing to do with Arkansas at all other than that young fillie he met at Petit Jean State Park back in the day. Broyles served in that position for 19 years. Arkansas would grow to a national power with Broyles at the helm, including several conference championships and a national title.

After Broyles left coaching and became athletic director at Arkansas, he hired that mush mouth Lou Holtz to take his former position. Holtz served as head football coach from 1977 through the 1983 season but left due to nefarious activities at Arkansas scooted out of town before the NCAA Po Po caught up with him and hid out at the University of Minnesota where the NCAA would never find him even if they had a map and a flashlight. BTW, the som-bitch got Minnesota on probation, probably for his Arkansas crimes. Over the next few years the Arkansas coaching job was a revolving door as Hatfield, Crowe, and Danny Ford would pace the sidelines of Razorback Stadium.

On December 10, 1997, Houston Nutt was hired by the University of Arkansas to succeed Danny Ford. Nutt was a tremendous addition to Arkansas, not so much for his coaching capabilities, but rather well because he's #badword#ing nuts. In his first year, the Arkansas Razorbacks were 9-3 and had a share of the SEC Western division title and then proceeded to #badword# their britches in the SECCG. During this season, Nutt was selected as the Football News' National Coach of the Year. Nutt resigned during a press conference at Arkansas on November 26, 2007, three days after the Razorbacks defeated the #1 LSU Tigahs 50–48 in three overtimes. Turned out Nutt did not opt for the unlimited text messaging option on his AT&T plan and nearly bankrupted the University.

After Nutt's departure, the disgraced ex-coach of the Atlanta Falcons- Bobby Petrino came to Arkansas. All we can remember about Petrino was an uncomfortable midnight press conference where he uttered that gutteral "Woo Pig Sooie" and donned an Arky hat and four years later when he was getting a handy from his assistant on the back of a real hog. When he talked to the press about the incident, he looked like a client of Ken Nugent's law firm right before he was to take the witness stand in a liability suit against Arkansas for allowing him to hire a bimbo. After Corch Petrino was relieved of his duties, the University performed a nation-wide coaching search and though disappointed that that hot bed of coaching talent at Iowa State had no candidates, decided to dig up, pay off, hire John L. Smith.

John L. Smith suxes.

It was her faith, in combination with her strong will, which enabled her to face and overcome several battles with SEC foes and other obstacles throughout her history. She enjoyed 118 wonderful years of gridiron performance. She is preceeded in death by ever coach heretofore mentioned. She will be greatly missed & is survived by 80 players, some hot cheerleaders of the female persuasion, hundreds of thousands of razorback fans, a streaker, and 420,000 red plastic pig hats. A.S. Turner & Sons Funeral Home and Crematory, Fayetteville.