Two tickets for my 15^th visit to Doak, but the wife refuses to be harassed there again. So, try a Friday night phone-a-friend. Ponti, no;  Pensa, no answer. Post a midnight ticket offer on VS. Consig responds for a lurker followed by Treybo. Consig gets first dibs. Deal is set. Meet at Chief Osceola for face value plus a Coke. Drive to Tally. Lurker calls just after 3:00 pm. He got a better ticket. Time short and logistics too difficult to get money he offered. Lost Treybo’s number. Crap!

Get on the Civic Center shuttle. A red-headed 30ish FSU fan with a bone-pierced nose plops down. Bus must be headed to Occupy Tallahassee encampment. Not so. Guy is a Georgia air traffic controller and quite friendly. Grumble about my ticket deal. It happened to him, too. Each of us is eating an extra seat.

His are regular Nole tickets while mine are UF. He has an FSU friend needing two seats together but is arriving late. We phone the guy and leave my UF tickets at the will-call booth. He’ll pay us after the game. I’ll sit with the Nole. Enter the Doak gauntlet. It isn’t LSU. Not even close. They fear us.

Great seats in a cesspool of garnet. Tune into FSU radio. Osceola’s lance: beam me up, someone. First quarter: pins drop. Second quarter: crickets chirp then late field goal. Halftime: bullied by a fat Nole who pushes until I say I’m a police officer--left out the retired part. Idiot. Third quarter: not good. Is the back judge Deion Sanders? Consider tomahawking myself just to avoid a fatal blow. Fourth quarter: Is Deckerhoff drinking? I sway alone before I am alone. Empty chair backs entice. Is it illegal to start a seat cemetery? Game over. Gators rush. What a rush.

My Nole friend hasn’t abandoned me. Class act, that guy. We meet his buddy and split the ticket cash. They head to a tailgate and I ride the bus to my car. Drive north laughing my ass off at Jimbo Fisher not complaining about the BCS tonight.

All told, great solo trip. But next time, whoever here takes me up on a ticket deal, please follow through. I’d rather sit among my own.