I sit here alone right now at the "Hospice House" here in Fayetteville. I sit here watching my mother take her last breaths in which only could be a matter of hours remaining.
I have had many wonderful people, chaplains, social workers, family members, old friends writing me messages or calling expressing their unbelievable support. I wanted to do my best to write this as a tribute to perhaps the most amazing woman I could have ever known. To call my mother a "giver" is a huge understatement, she has given me so so much, so many wonderful life experiences. It was not easy for her to be a single parent because we all know how poorly paid teachers are, a travesty of society of untold proportions.
It was her idea to purchase a home, a big home, right here in Fayetteville to live with us and help her and my stepdad be cared for because it was becoming more and more "impossible" to care for their house themselves back in Little Rock. It was a big adjustment for them but we pulled it off. We all benefited greatly from this little venture.
We had no idea that only one year later that my dad/stepdad would be taken from us and now only seven months later Cancer is going to take my mother. It's simply not fair and it angers me so much. We feel cheated that we didn't get enough time to help them settle into their retirement years. I would've considered it a high honor to care for them for many many years. Even if they thought (incorrectly) that they might be a burden, I tell you it wasn't. I believe in caring for the fatherless, the orphan, the widow (James 2), Project Mother was my mission and just like that it's almost over.
I am in a high state of pain and anguish right now. I won't lie. This is the most painful thing I've ever written on the boards of Mudduck. Almost losing my uncle on 9/11 in DC was bad. Losing both grandparents, my dad, now my mom all in a 6 year span... it is exponentially heartwretching. I know there are many caring people that frequent on this board, it is a collective of unbridled compassion that I've had the pleasure to witness time and time again when one member is in the deepest darkness of pain and suffering. I think I'm in that place today.
My humblest request is you keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. This stage of our lives is coming to a close, much to soon. My mother deserved many more years, she was an art teacher for the DoD school system in Italy for over 25 years. She loved teaching, she loved her kids, and I am still astounded by the number of lives she has touched over the years. But I have enjoyed the best role possible as her son. She taught me a lot about how people should be treated and respected, how to be a good neighbor to someone in need, and how caring for your elders (like she did with her parents for decades) is a privilege and honor and the central core of what family is all about. She has taught me so many wonderful things and oh it is going to hurt like hell to lose her.
Cheryl Starry, age 66, I love you mommy. Thank you and thank God for you.
Mike
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