but I think it's bullpoop

Weak, ha. When your kids are on my kids level come at me

...you're taking way too much credit. My father in law (Columbia-educated surgeon) raised three kids (Brown, Stanford, RISD) and said "parents take too much of the credit and too much of the blame for how their kids turn out".

You're doing a hell of a job raising nice llittle order-followers, from the sound of it. That's definitely one approach, but it fails them badly when it comes time to stand on one's own and not look to someone else for appproval or decisions. If a kid can't find approval within him or herself and the rock-solid self confidence and serenity that approval can bring, that child has been rendered a disservice.