We received a heartbreaking phone call yesterday from my wife's mom and dad informing us that Mrs. GC's 26 year old cousin had died in an accident in Florida.  Her cousin, who she grew up very close to, and I spent a great deal of time with during our visits to Connecticut, was a good kid.  A real good kid.  He had a big heart, was incredibly polite, and truly would go out of his way to help family, friends and strangers.  He doted on my kids, and spent hours with his aging grandparents.  Much of this is definitely attributable to his parents, my wife's aunt and uncle, who raised him in a loving and supportive home, taught him right from wrong, and encouraged him to pursue his dreams, whatever they may be.

Unfortunately, for all of his great qualities, Danny had one signifcant flaw that ultimately turned out to be fatal.  He was an addict.  He tried hard to beat his addiction, but despite the support of his family, the efforts he put in at rehab, and the love and support of those around him, he would relapse from time to time.  G-d bless him, he wanted to be free of his addiction and tried his damndest, but he just couldn't, for whatever reason.

His most recent relapse occurred about 18 months ago, and it appeared as though this time his recovery was more successful.  I say recovery because most addicts I have known always say they're never cured or recovered, but always in recovery.  He was working, went to synagogue every morning, and was starting to look at graduate schools.  In short, he seemed to be getting his life together.  Then he relapsed for the final time.  

His addicition overcame him again, and he used again.  This time he sadly fell while high and suffered a severe head injury that ultimately took his life.  We do not know if the fall was accidental or intentional, and frankly it does not matter.  Although it saddens us to know he relapsed it perhaps gives us comfort that he felt no pain.  It does not, however, make any less sad the loss of a kid we all loved and hoped would find a way through his struggles.  

Parents are not suppposed to bury their children.  Grandparents are not supposed to bury their grandchildren.  Yet tomorrow, that is what will happen.  I pray to G-d that somehow the family can find peace and comfort, but I cannot fathom what his parents are going through.  I do know, however, that this is a very personal and direct reminder that we can never assume we know what someone else is going through, and should try our very best to never judge another person's situation.  Sometimes, no matter how hard a person fights against them, the damn demons just win.

RIP Danny.