The gig to train UAE police is being arranged by U.S. middlemen using chicken wire and electrical tape. Today, they changed the two-week start date from this Friday to December 15. That would put me there until at least December 26 and away from my 90-plus year-old parents with whom I have celebrated every Christmas of my beyond middle-aged life. No amount of cash is worth that, so I told them to find someone else.

Fortunately, I never sold our tickets to Doak. Now, I can be one of the rare Gator fans to witness both the christening of Ron Zook Field in 2004 and its renaming to Zook-Muschamp Field on Saturday. I may even lay a wreath beneath Bobby Bowden's statue before they replace it with Jameis Winston; and visit Burt Reynolds at the wax museum. It's going to be a great day to be a Gator.