My Daughter-in-Law scheduled her wedding Right, Smack in the middle of the 1997 Florida / Tennessee Game! And when I say in the middle I mean just that – the nuptials were scheduled to start some 30 min. after kick off! Here we are the DNC’s facing a critical game, and some idiot my daughter-in-law-to-be schedules her wedding!
Needless to say, this created somewhat of a viewing “problem.” Making it to the Gator Club watering hole was clearly out of the question, but thankfully the game was to be Nationally broadcast on CBS, opening up a lot more options than otherwise would have been available (given only cable / PPV / etc.). The Big problem to be solved by me was “How do I “keep the family happy” but still watch the Game?”
Plan A was to get a "Watchman" and take it into the church with antenna fully extended to ensure good reception. In what I viewed to be a Huge compromise on my part I offered NOT to wear my “MountainGator” Game Jersey - opting instead for a Tux (& ok, black not orange) in honor of the Bride & Groom! I even offered what I was sure would be the deal clincher, I guaranteed that not a single outburst of “Phat-Phil, you sorry @ss…” would occur (during the ceremony), and I even gave assurances that any utterance of GoGators would only be appropriately timed! Gator-by-Marriage listened to my offer, and said no - actually she said something like N.F.W!, but let’s not split hairs.
With that ‘tentative position’ on her part, in the true sprit of domestic tranquility and negotiation, I set out to create another alternative.
Plan B was for ME to offer to skip the ceremony and stay at the hotel (now get this) “to ensure that the wedding reception was being properly set up.” Again, GbM (who happens to be a professional Banquet Coordinator/Manager) took somewhat of a dim view of the idea, mumbling something about me being permanently cut off! (whatever that means ) No doubt she saw right through my plan, deducing that it was just a diversion on my part so that I watch the game. At this point, the depth of our riff is becoming fully apparent, and I realize that we may need a DAMNdawg-defeating-like effort in order for me to WATCH THE GAME (on oh yes, save my marriage too – if possible!)
So partially out of desperation, Plan C was conceived… It was the best I could do to at least see part of the game, while not having to go through the BIG D word (yet again ) It hinged around a borrowed 5" TV in the car, along with putting the “No Game-Day Shirt/Tux offer back on the table. After carefully calculating travel-time, and making a few trial runs, we left the hotel early enough to get to the church before kickoff. GbM goes in with all the ladies, and I stay out in the parking lot watching the game. As the guests drive up, family & friends stop by (to see what the hell I’m doing) & when they get close enough to see the flags an Gator stuff all over the car, they figure it out – especially when I greet them, “Hi & Go Gators”! I’m trying to keep the “noise level” down to something respectable (after all, it IS a church parking lot!) , but when DJ hits Jamie Richardson, well… , what can I say! Anyhow, I’m glued to the tube out there in the parking lot ‘til like two minutes before "seating time - (thankfully parents are last to arrive - first to leave). So now I have to leave the TV with the Gators only holding a slim lead and escort GbM!
Sitting there in the front row (I wished it would have been the front row of the Swamp) while the ceremony is going on, I’m creating a “play-by-play” in my mind, and almost yell a big GoGators! when we mentally score! It’s a good thing that we did bypass Plan A , because the Tony George interception and 89yd TD return occurred right in the middle of the ceremony! Had I had audio or video, no doubt, the vocalization would have been for real, (& I just might have found out what “permanent” really meant!)
So after the “Ok, It’s “legal now”, I’m out the door to the car - almost at a dead run! A quick check of the score, (Gators up 14-0 !) it’s back into the church for the obligatory ‘Picture Taking’ and then being ‘sociable’. Finally we’re all back outside waiting for the Lemo send-off, so (with the TV still running in the car) I make a few ‘strolls’ over for a quick check! All-in-all, maybe I got the see half the first half. The Good News of course was that we are ahead at the half, and the drive back to the Hotel for the Dinner/ Reception occurs during the half-time, so I don’t miss any more of the game!
While the B&G and the Wedding Party were Bar-Hopping in the Lemo, I was in the room drinking Jameson’s & watching the game. I don't drink Jack the entire month of September until we beat UT, & there is no way I can get through one of these close, intense rivalry games without some liquid 'tranquilizer.' That takes care of the 3rd. Qtr.
Then early in the 4th - with the Gators ahead, but the game still not decided, the wedding party arrives, the festivities begin, & I need to get out of room to ‘be sociable’ & ‘join the party’. Of course Daughter-In-Law has artfully arranged for everything at the reception, EXCEPT a TV for ME! Luckily the Hotel Bar is right around the corner from the reception area, and even though GbM & I were paying for all the Booze from the receptions "Open Bar", I found it necessary to frequently enter the Hotel Bar to pay cash for a round and (of course) get updated on the score. Then back to the reception, looking for some unsuspecting half-empty glass to dump my drink into so I can quickly claim “well honey, looks like I need a refill” ! – That and of course the standard, pleased excuse me, I need to find the men’s room, coupled with the “long line” upon me late return! I think about the only way we avoided a serious problem was the fact that I was feeding GbM (full) Cuba Libra’s as fast as I was dumping half my Irish Whisky!
This was supposed to be the year the Volunteers finally beat Florida except nobody filled the Gators in on these plans. Peyton threw 51 passes! 29 were completed for 353 yards, 3 TD’d and 2 interceptions, while UT had 4 fumbles, but only 1 was a turn-over. The Gators shut down Peyton Manning and the Volunteers to win by a final score of 33-20. Now with double reason to celebrate, a GREAT time was had by all well into the early morning hours!
Now here is an interesting ‘twist’ on Plans A, B, & C… Somewhat against “OUR” better judgment, the kids had decided to get pregnant 'right away'. So our D-I-L had stopped her contraceptives at the appropriate time in anticipation of the wedding. The result of the Honeymoon, (either their wedding night or two nights after) was our triplet granddaughters... A(lexandria), B(rianna), & C(ristin) ! (who are now a LOT older than as shown in the picture)
So that day is a real Orange Letter one for me. In addition to providing us the opportunity to be “Triple Proud Grandparents”, it proved once and for all, that in the entire 125 year history of the College Football, Peyton Manning was the ABSOLUTE best Quarterback… who could never beat the Florida GATORS!