The family were close friends of ours and the boy was my son's best friend when we lived in Tennessee.

It has been two years since my son “Gavin” passed away. Gavin is now bathing in the face of our Lord, he breaths heaven. Gavin is healed and whole, and being crazy happy, joyful, and complete.

I overhear people discussing visiting their son’s or daughter’s family and I am reminded of that sting, I will not be visiting Gavin and his family. No visits, no wedding, no grandchildren, no celebrating accomplishments, no sharing his struggles. I guess the sting will always be there. However, it’s much less painful knowing where my son is resting.

There is no doubt, in my mind, that God has smothered all of us with infinite blessings. These blessings are a special gift from God to us, to us individually; these blessings are ours to do with what we want. We can keep them, share them, give them away; it’s a gift to us. I wonder, how often do we search out, seek out these blessings? These blessing are God’s special gifts to each of us, these blessing are ours. Most of them are right in front of us and we don’t realize it. Some of them, we have to look for and don’t. And a few of them, we have to go way out of our comfort zone to get them and we don’t have a clue. I must admit I have done the above, and still do, and probably will continue to do so. I loved Gavin with all my heart, everything I had. I was involved with him his entire sports career (elementary thru high school), including practices and camps. I tried to be involved with him and his friends. I tried to make myself available for whatever he needed and/or wanted. Reflecting back, I missed out on sooooo many other blessings. Unfortunately, and painfully, it takes a tragedy to get one’s attention. I am so embarrassed to say I missed out on many opportunities, special times, father/son blessing with Gavin, in really getting to know him. As a parent who has lost a child, I challenge my friends, parents in general, who have children to look at your child maybe a little different.

Today, I visited Gavin where he was laid to rest, so many thoughts flooded through my mind. I remember sitting in a church in Knoxville where Gavin’s funeral services was being held. As I got an opportunity to look around, on the floor and up in the balcony, I was absolutely amazed the amount of people that were present (400+). It was overwhelming, difficult to keep my composure. Somehow, someway, my son and his love for the Lord had an influence on these people. These people came to pay last respect to my son. I knew he had friends, and a fair amount of them. He was at University of Tennessee and graduated shortly before his death. He was always involved in something. I knew all of this. But, I never knew, never imagined the magnitude of his influence on so many people in his short time on earth.

A parent/child relationship is a special relationship. There is no doubt in anybody’s mind that your love for your child/grandchild is real and strong, or that you are proud of them. However, parents look at their child through parents eyes. How about trying to see your child thru their eyes, their relationship, how they feel about their accomplishments, their ideas, their dreams. How about, instead of telling friends about your child/grandchild, have your friends tell you about your child/grandchild. Do you as parents have any idea what kind of influence and how far the influence of your child goes? Your child is an amazing instrument. Do you know your child in that way? Try to remove yourself for a short time to imagine this. I would also challenge young people, how do you view your parents. What if, from time to time, we view each other as a person instead of our parent or our child? And then try to get a sense of the impact that person has on their surroundings.

I am so proud of my son’s influence and relationship with others and the large number of people that was influenced. I am so ashamed that I was not involved in that part of his life. Please, don’t make the same mistake. Again, I challenge parents to look at their child (and children to look at their parents) in a little different way. What an amazing gift/blessing waits for you.