Aniston speaks!  A VS Enquirer exclusive!

VS Enquirer staff

January 12, 2005, 10:30AM EST

CORAL GABLES -- The VS Enquirer spoke with Jennifer Aniston in an exclusiveQ & A at the Coral Gables Doubletree yesterday.  In granting the interview, Aniston made it clear any questions regarding the internet poster "Statsman" were strictly off-limits.   As you'll see later in the interview, that didn't stop your trusty VS Enquirer reporters.

VS Enquirer:  Jennifer, you seem to be in remarkably good spirits given your recent breakup with Brad Pitt. 

Aniston (smiling):  "No comment.  Nice try."

VS Enquirer:  OK.  Let's try some random questions, and maybe a little word association.  Are you game?

Aniston (cautiously):  "OK".

VS Enquirer:  We understand you spend quite a bit of time surfing a particular internet message board, the "Virtual Swamp"  How about evaluating some of the posters for us?  Let's start with.....Mudlizard.

Aniston:  "I know he has a reputation as a stud, but frankly, pink bunny slippers are such a turn-off."

VS Enquirer:  Albert.

Aniston:  "Anybody who's wife introduces him to Playmates on a regular basis......I'd say it's quite likely Albert's wife is far better than he deserves"

VS Enquirer:  Cleetus.

Aniston:  "Is there any sentient female form he doesn't love?!?  I like my man to have some standards

VS Enquirer:  Investi Gator.

Aniston:    "Who?"

VS Enquirer:  Jimmy V.

Aniston:   I hear his favorite song is "Copacabana" and Brad likes Barry Manilow.  I hope I don't have to say any more than that.

VS Enquirer:  Wize Guy.

Aniston:  Guys with guitar cases are a turn-on, no doubt about it. 

VS Enquirer:  We understand that Statsman is changing his signature from "Just sittin' here waiting for football season" to "Just sittin' here with a goofy grin on my face." 

Aniston (with a goofy grin on her face):  No comment.  Interview over.

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