Right after we got married (still young and stupid), we arranged a blind camping date for Lizardluvr and her sister (that happened to be just shy of eighteen at the time) with two single guys SA worked with.   Before we headed out, one of the guys asked what type of liquor we liked, because he was going to stop by the liquor store and pick up a bottle  for the trip. I told him to get anything but Jim Beam because I thought it was disgusting. 

Ignoring the fact that storms were predicted to come our way due to a cold front moving in, the six of us loaded up on a boat and headed to an island in the river to camp.   While SA ran back to shore to pick up more of our supplies, one of his dimwitted coworkers decided to start the fire.  All of us girls laughed hysterically watching him trying to start the fire with toilet paper.  When SA got back with the boat, dimwit decided to pull the spare tank of gas off of the boat and use that to start the fire.  Luckily he got it started without blowing himself up.

Before the rain started, we sat around the fire eating oysters, having a great time.  (The dimwit was quite a comedian.) Later in the evening when it started to drizzle, I got up to go to the tent to get a jacket and stepped right in the middle of the pile of oyster shells and twisted the he!! out of my ankle.  I was in such pain the guy that brought the liquor went to get the bottle for me to have a drink.  One guess as to which type of liquor he bought.  I sat there with ice on my ankle swigging Beam straight from the bottle.

As everyone huddled in the tent around the crip, the rain picked up and it poured ALL NIGHT LONG! When we woke up, there was over an inch of water on the side of the tent where the food was stored.  Water had leaked in on our side soaking our sleeping bags and us.  It was so cold out that SA's pants had steam coming off of them!  The danish that Lizardluvr brought for breakfast was floating next to our sleeping bag.  I told everyone not to worry, that I brought eggs and bacon.   Even though it was still drizzling and windy, SA went out to split wood for kindling to start a fire so we could make coffee and cook breakfast.  When he got outside, he discovered that one of the other guys had accidentally kicked the hatchet into the fire in the middle of the night, so the handle was completely gone.  Dimwit had the brilliant idea to cook the bacon in the skillet over the propane lantern, ignoring all of us when we told him that was a stupid idea.  Within five minutes, the propane tank was empty.   SO, here we all were, soaking wet, freezing, starving, and huddling in the tent to stay warm since we couldn't start a fire. 

Dimwit decides he will save the day by taking the boat to the marina that was 10 minutes away to get us food and something to drink. We wanted to wait for the rain to stop before we took down the tents and made the couple of trips taking everything to the dock, so we handed him cash and told him to hurry.  Over two hours later we were still waiting for Dimwit wondering what on earth could have happened to him.  Finally, we heard a faint yell so we went outside and saw him way down the river.  He would throw the anchor in front of the boat, then pull the boat to the anchor, then toss the anchor out  again, repeating the process.  The idiot had left the spare tank of gas on the island from starting the fire the night before and never bothered to check how much gas he had when he went to the marina!  When he finally made it to the island he handed us the bags of "groceries" he bought.  He spent every bit of that cash on potato chips and beer!!!

While we were riding out the rain in the tent, munching on our "breakfast", we heard a man yell out, "Hey, are there any girls in that tent?"  SA and the guys went out to see who it was.  As it turns out, Lizardluvr's father had told her younger sister the day before that she wasn't allowed to go camping on the island, but when she didn't come home by midmorning, he figured that she must have ignored his orders, he sent the marine patrol out to look for her.

As miserable as we all were, we couldn't help but laugh the entire time.  You can't make stuff like this up!!