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Albert
(24.250.215.133) on 5/14/2005 - 12:23 p.m. says: ( 245 views
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"Re: Albert...you are commanded to post that here" |
MUDDUCK BOARDS - POSTING FAQS AND TIPSPosting Tips:
How do I get started posting? To start posting, you must first register in the profile center (/users/profiles.pl) a link to the profile center is on top of the board. In doing this you provide a password and username (or alias) which will be used by the admins to track you down and torment you if they should ever disagree with or take offense to anything you ever post on the Mudduck boards:  Clicking this link will take you to the Profile Center entry point. Note the board rules that are displayed on this page. At the bottom of the page, there are boxes for you to input your board name and password.  NOTE: If you are new to the board in question, simply send $250.00 through the PayPal link and then input the name of your choice and the password of your choice. As long as your chosen name is not already taken, this is all of the registration that is needed. If your chosen name is taken you may email the admins to setup a death match with the person who has your name. All death match contest occur the 1st and 3rd Wendnesday's of the month at the closest DoubleTree hotel to both parties involved. After selecting options in the Profile Center, you MUST click the "Modify Profile" button at the bottom of the screen for changes to take effect. What is Enhanced Posting? Enhanced posting requires a partner of the opposite sex to be with you (or the same sex if that's your orientation - NTTAWWT). Simply ask them to perform the sexual act of your choice while posting on the boards. To enable enhanced posting, simply provide sufficient amounts of alcohol to the partner of your choice, maybe light some candles and put on some mmod music too. If you have to pay for enhanced posting that is your responsibility - do not send bills for services rendered to the Mudduck owners. Once you are set up at home, select the "Enhanced Posting" checkbox at the bottom of the page in the Profile Center:  When enhanced posting is enabled, your post screen should look like this: 
When enhanced posting is completed, well... we can't show you what your screen will look like then, but make sure to have plenty of Kleenex close at hand - so to speak. When enhanced posting is not enabled, your post screen should look like this:  How do I post a link? You don't. Submit any link you wish to post through email using the admin link. It will then be reviewed by the appropriate committee (depending on the content of the link) and will either be accepted and posted or rejected which also results in your immediate and complete banning from all Mudduck boards. For the admins the Mudduck BBS provides many ways to post a link and to lord this ability which you will never have over you they are explained as follows: If you are using enhanced posting you can post a link by clicking on this  button after you have highlighted the text you wish to use as an anchor. So highlight text first then click the button. Step 1: Type and highlight text that you wish to display for the link: Step 2: Click the link ( ) button on the enhanced posting toolbarStep 3: Input the address of your link into the URL box.  You may optionally declare a Title, or tooltip, which is a description that will show up when a user hovers over the link with their mouse. You may also select the target destination of the link from the "target" dropdown; for our purposes, the only useful options are None (use implicit) and New window (_blank). None (use implicit) will open your link in the current browser window. New window (_blank) will open the link in a new browser window. Click OK to exit the hyperlink popup window. Your link should now be formatted and ready for clicking.  You can also paste a link directly into the box and enhanced posting will make it into a link automatically. Allowing the script to autointerpret the link will result in the link being opened in the current browser window. If all of this fails, the original Mudduck link system will still work, but only if you are not using enhanced posting. Simply add :link directly after the URL and the script convert it to a link when you submit your message. Using the :link syntax will cause the link to open in a new browser window. If you know html, you may also manually code your A HREF link by either using basic posting or entering text mode, which is achieved by pressing  on the enhanced posting toolbar. How do I post an image? Use a Sharpie and draw it on your screen - BUT YOU MUST USE A PURPLE SHARPIE!!! Only the color purple has the proper wavelength to transmit from your screen through the internet to everyone else's screen. The Mudduck BBS provides other, more complicated and annoying ways to post a image which you should probably avoid unless you want a call from the FBI concerning copyright infringement and mandatory prison terms. However, for those of you who wish to live on the edge: If you are using enhanced posting you can post a link by clicking on this  button. In the box that comes up, enter the Internet address of the picture into the Image URL box. NOTE: The image must be located on an internet server. This is not an upload utility; you cannot post pictures from your local hard drive. Clicking "Preview" will display the image in the preview pane:  Click "OK" to return to the post screen and see your image.  If all of this fails, you are SOL. You can try the original Mudduck link system, but only if you are not using enhanced posting. Simply add :pic directly after the URL and the script convert it to an image tag when you submit your message. Again, images must reside on a web server and can not be posted from your computer. If you know html, you may also manually code your IMG SRC link by either using basic posting or entering text mode, which is achieved by pressing on the enhanced posting toolbar. The chances of this actually working are slim and none. What does the Include Quote box do? Summons a random quote from anyone of several designated movies (i.e. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Outlaw Josie Wales, Gorsse Point Blank, O Brother Where Art Thou, etc.) that will make you look like an insider even if you are a newbie. If you want to include a quote from the post you are responding to (which is like being in a fine restaurant and wishing to use paper napkins from McDonald's) click on this checkbox, it will include the text of the person to which you are responding. This included text will show up in the post message box when you begin writing your reply. In this way, you will have their words to use against them. :-) The box is located at the top of the post display screen:  How do I get a personal icon? Cash. And lots of it. However, if you are a female, fairly good looking, are willing to work for the priviledge, and have somewhat loose moral standards the board owners have been known to make exceptions. For legal purposes only, but not like it actually will work, we offer the following: To get a personal icon icon you must comply with the rules set down by the board. You can read these rules when you enter the profile center (/users/profiles.pl). Generally, they are that you should have posted a set number of messages and that you have complied with the various rules in the spirit in which they were intended. Once you have reached the required number of posts (generally 100), a box will popup in the profile center that will allow you to upload an icon. This icon must comport to strict rules on size (how big the file is) and width and height. All personal icons are subject to administration approval. You can request design assistance from board participants. Once you have met the minimum icon requirements for the board, the icon upload form will appear at the bottom of the profile center. Use the browse button to navigate to the location of your icon on your hard drive. Press "Upload Icon!" to submit the icon for approval.  What does the Clear Icons button do? It makes the icons transparent so that you can see through them, through the screen, and actually view the face of the person associated with that icon. It also allows a person to see what new messages have been posted since their last visit. It does this through the use of cookies which are set when you hit the board (if you allow them). These new messages are marked with the icon of each individual poster as to show that they are new since your visit. You can then vary the time from the present into the past that message will be marked in this way. So if you click select "15 min" and hit "clear icons" all the messages that have been posted in the last 15 minutes will be marked with icons. The Clear Icons button is located at the top of each main board page.  What is the Compressed threads box for and how do I use it? Eliminates all posts on the the board that do not have any redeeming value. Don't panic as using this button usually results in a blank screen. The Compressed Threads checkbox is located at the top of each main board page.  What does a Gold Star beside a post mean? It means that poster likes coffee from Canada. Also, a gold star beside a message means that another person on the board thought that message was worthy of highlighting, as a way to point out the quality of the post to other members. The button to do this is inside each message and is called "Must Read Flag". To mark a post as "Must Read", click the "Must Read" button, located at the top of the post display screen:  Note: You must be a contributing member to flag a post as "Must Read". The criteria for contributing members is determined by the webmaster of each individual board. When a post is marked as "Must Read", it will appear on the board as follows:  This will NEVER happen for the icon used in the example, but we thought it was funny to use it here. If you are using Internet Explorer as your browser, you can hover over the gold star and see who flagged it. This function is not available when using Mozilla Firefox. What does a Red Star beside a post mean? It means the individual who made that post is a communist and should be avoided at all costs. A red star beside a message means that a board Admin thought you should be warned that the message was from such a deviant and is urging readers to avoid that person, or if they are so inclined, to track them down and eliminate them from the gene pool. When a post is marked as "Must Die", it will appear on the board as follows:  Can I self delete my own post? Yes! We encourage it. However, it another person responds to your post before you have a chance to delete it this feature will disappear. This is to keep the delete from damaging the flow of the threads. If you wish to have something deleted and cannot do it yourself contact the administration via the admin email link at the top of the board. The delete button is inside each message at the bottom of the page.  Can I block everyone's signatures from appearing in posts? No. That would be rude and you are permanently banned for even asking such an anti-social question. If you are too dense to understand this warning you can enter the profile center (/users/profiles.pl) and check the configuration checkbox at the bottom of the profile center that is marked, "If you'd like to block the signatures from being viewed in each post , check this box: (faster is checked)" so that we can easily identify you sociopaths to better handle your move to South Dakota to a "re-education" camp.  Can I block all graphics from appearing in posts? Yes. Turn off your computer. If you don't know how to turn off your computer you can enter the profile center (/users/profiles.pl) and check the configuration checkbox marked, "If you'd like to block images from loading, check this box: (faster is checked)".  What is the "Suspended Thread" page? None of your stinkin' business. But just to show how magnanimous we are an explanation follows: Admins now have the ability to move threads to a page from which they will not scroll off. Posters may continue to contribute and the thread(s) remain intact until delete by an Admin. This page is called the Suspended Threads page. The link is located at the top of each board main page.  I lost my password. What do I do?
Your password can be reset by an administrator. However, if you do not wish to wait for that, simply enter the profile center (/users/profiles.pl) and create a new alias and password. You can always go back to your old one when the administrators reset your password by entering the profile center again and entering your old alias and reset password. My personal icon is no longer showing up! GET A FREAKING CLUE! It means we don't like you and are dropping a subtle hint that it would be best for all concerned if you move along. Another explanation may be that you have logged in with a user name that is not IDENTICAL to the one that corresponds with your icon. User names are case sensitive and your icon "knows you" based on your user name. The first thing you need to do is enter the profile index (/users/profiles.pl?index) and make sure you are using the correct username. If this doesn't seem to be the problem, contact the administrators via the link at the top of the board and they will personally tell you to get lost.  I don't see a place from which I can upload my icon. Quit trying to stick it in your CD/DVD drive. The webmasters are omnipotent and will sense the icon you wish to use if you simply sit at your computer quietly and stare at the screen and think hard enough about your icon. Failing that the upload box for personal icons is in the profile center (/users/profiles.pl). Enter here and see if you are provided the option of uploading an icon. If not, then you might not qualify. Additionally, you must have your e-mail address entered in the profile center. Please read How do I get a personal icon?. If you qualify and the option to upload is still not present, contact the administration via the link at the top of the board. Why do I have to click on the Clear Icons button twice to make it work? Because you are worthless and weak. Quit being a pansy who is so limp-wristed that you're unable to fully depress the button on your mouse in one try. Eat a burger for heaven's sake and bulk up. To try and make you feel better we offer the following completely ficticious and meaningless explanation (at least it will give you something to do instead of annoying us): The answer to this question is very complicated and frankly uncertain. I, Wayne, do not know why it does this. It is not specific to any browser or to the Mudduck BBS scripts. It seems to be a problem with cookies, which is a problem with the users computer not with the Mudduck BBS. The only fix we have at this time for this problem has worked in some cases and not in others. Below we provide the instructions on deleting your cookies and starting over. This may fix the problem or it may not. Sorry. Clearing Cookies in Firefox 1. Select the "Tools" menu:  2. Select Options from the tools menu. In the options screen, select the "Privacy" button. Expand the "Cookies" section, like so:  3a. To delete all cookies, simply press "Clear" in the cookies section above.  4. To delete an individual cookie, select it and press "Remove Cookie". You may also delete all cookies from this screen by pressing the "Remove All Cookies" button. The "Tools --> Options" menu in FireFox is the Mozilla version of "Tools --> Internet Options" in IE. Clearing Cookies in Internet Explorer 1. Select the "Tools" menu in IE and select "Internet Options".  2. Click "Delete Cookies" from the menu that appears.  3. Click OK. You will need to return to the profile center and re-enter your username and password to continue posting. You must do this after clearing cookies in either FireFox or IE. Why is Enhanced Posting Not Working For Me? Refer to the section on: My Personal Icon Isn't Showing Up. The first thing you should check is that you have enhanced posting turned on in the profile center (/users/profiles.pl). You should see a configuration checkbox like this, "If you'd like enhanced posting, check this box: (faster is unchecked)". If it still does not work, continue reading. Enhanced posting is accomplished in Mudduck BBS using a javascript package called Xinha (Xinha). This package does not support every browser. Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox are known to be supported. You should also make sure you have javascript turned on in your browser. If you are having problems, we suggest you switch to either Internet Explorer or Firefox and make sure you allow javascript. Xinha will not be supported in Mudduck BBS. If it works for you that is great. If it does not, sorry. Not really, we think it is funny as hell you're still having problems. |
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Re: Albert...you are commanded to post that here Albert 5/14/2005 - 12:23 p.m. |
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