It's that time again to reconvene in the River City, you know the town that makes Bluto Blutarksi's dormroom smell like a fragrant bouquet of daisies, for another confrontational Florida/Georgia SEC rivalry game. To say that Florida needs this win is akin to saying Elizabeth Taylor needed marital advice. Let's face it, little Ashlee Simpson had a better showing on the Saturday Night Live stage than the Gator offense had in Tuscaloosa and Baton Rouge. I mean, lately this Spread Option has produced less than when Geraldo went spelunking for some greedy gangster's loot underneath Chicago, baby. Listen up Lou Ferrigno, what's needed a mid-season re-structuring as badly since that "oh so sorta successful" company Coca-Cola tried to dabble with the original formula? And look what it's done to poor Chris Leak... The junior QB looks as lost as Corky at an Applied Mathematics symposium. Pauly Shore's movie credits are more prolific than Leak's numbers since that first half in Lexington. Yet, now they meet the undefeated Bulldogs coached by their Magna Cum Laude graduate from the Supercuts School of Cosmetology. You know, the team since 1990 who's beaten Florida about as frequently as Susan Lucci goes to the podium accepting her Daytime Emmy. And worse yet, they come into the contest sans their seasoned signal caller D.J. Shockley. Remember this is the guy who's taken longer to develop than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, heck even Oprah and Steadman's courtship hasn't lasted this long. The dual-threat specialist looks be holding the clipboard in Alltel come kick-off, But, now the poodles have their French Cut's in a wad because the quarterbacking torch has been passed (no pun intended) to a Tereshinski - The Third!. Does that sound like a severe leg ailment or what? This guy has more syllables than a Polish family reunion. To say 'ole Joe is a one-deminional player is like saying Pam Anderson shys away from wearing parkas. Even Stevie Wonder can see that UF's defense is gonna come blitzing more on Saturday than home-schooled pre-pubescent geeks heading toward a Border's for the latest Harry Potter book release. If the Georgia O-Line can't run block, Joey T - "The Third" will be hit on more than Jenna Jameson at a Harley Davidson convention. Oh yeah, the game's also getting more ink because apparently Florida will be sporting new uniforms this weekend. Seriously folks, this topic has generated more speculation than Area 55. Who Shot J.R. didn't create as much mystery as the Swamp Lizard player's wardrobe. And speaking of Gator clothing, where do Georgia's masses get off with their annually questioning of Florida fan's fashions? Hoist up the sails on a sightseeing tour of the Peach State Magellan. Pull into port in Hayhira, Snellville, Albany, and round about Brunswick, I think you'll discover the typical Georgian dressed like the cast of Hee-Haw after the summer clearance sale at K-Mart. Hey Bulldog faithful, you giving tailoring tid-bits is like Ozzy Osborne offering up advice on clean and healthy living, Archimedes. Nevertheless, it should be another dandy down on the St. John's, all the while Ray Goff's still at the head of the unemployment line. Boy, don't Gator fans miss that guy? He's having less luck finding another coaching gig than O.J.'s having of finding Nicole and Ron's perpetrator on the 16th fairway at Doral. But I digress, I didn't mean to get off on a rant. Saddle up for another wild and wooley Cocktail Party party my friends... don't let your Ziploc bag spring a leak.