1.Do NOT GET CAUGHT or ADMIT ANYTHING! 2.Always Blame the Police or Laverneous Coles. 3.Same as number 2 but Blame the media and other teams JEALOUSY of our DYNASTY. 4.IT IS ONLY ALRIGHT TO STAY OUT ALL NIGHT DRINKING BEFORE A GAME IF YOU ARE POLISH. 5.Do not PAY FOR SEX it will be provided by the WEIRD TEAM CHAPLAIN GUY if you are really that desperate. 6.Do not RAPE girls that stay at the same hotel as the team stays at. 7.Assualt your girlfriend after football season. 8.Five finger discounts are NO LONGER OFFERED AT DILLARDS BE AWARE! 9.Tell your lawyer to push the court date up as far after football season as possible. 10.Claiming you are God is the same as flunking a urine test.